Personal blog
The key, it seems to me,
Is ‘not to mention the war’.
Talk about ANYTHING BUT what is in my heart.
Talk about anything except the rift between us.
That is what I want to see on this page,
Art.
Words to describe the sensation of being on the coast,
In Melbourne,
At a new spot, I found today,
A cafe in Thornbury, immersed in the bushland,
Surrounded by nature, with sunlight reflecting off the glassware,
On the deck.… Read the rest
Curious to know,
what happens now.
If it is writing, for writing’s sake,
Does it curl up under the couch and die?
carving out a moment to feel through words,
on a blissful, balmy evening, under a pergola with a beer.… Read the rest
The painful sting of tears at the back of my throat,
For the trip that didn’t happen.
Didn’t reconnect with school friends,
Didn’t get out of this dusty rut.
Because I had lost my job,
Because I was at a low ebb,
Because this home feels like a trap sometimes.… Read the rest
A cat!?
It would probably do me the world of good
to take care of something outside myself.
Maybe it would snuggle with me,
On my couch or in my bed.
I would feel bad that it couldn’t go outside.
It would be captive.… Read the rest
So gentle that movement can wait,
These beautiful spring days,
when there is no deadline,
so I can exercise as long as I like.
no longer afraid of the sunshine,
moments sitting on my balcony soaking it up.
returning to a different life.… Read the rest
The monster in my mind about your situation in life, or perhaps even your motives for being here is particularly big, revolting and nasty.
Happy to be corrected of course, but that doesn’t seem to be your style.
I am not important to you.… Read the rest
funny how it is school holidays in NSW now. i don’t think this is the first time you have disappeared during the school holidays. you are probably all in some idyllic location.
maybe that is why you don’t want to get in touch either.… Read the rest
It is so true I think – ‘if he wanted to, he would.’
If you wanted to talk to me, you would.
You just don’t want to talk to me.
What else do I need to know?… Read the rest
When I start to write that ‘maybe I should come and visit’, because the afternoon has mellowed my soul, I start to feel angry again.
And yet, I want this ‘situation’ to be over in some way.
I just want a quiet life,
Where I don’t talk to Astro, and I don’t care about him,
And this connection is resolved on some level,
So that this space doesn’t trigger a psychosis again.… Read the rest
This is starting to aggravate me. I feel there is some reason why I feel this as knots in my stomach.
why can’t you just get in touch. A simple comment on one of my posts or a text. It is a huge red flag that you won’t contact me.… Read the rest