Personal blog
Finally the evening is here.
It feels a bit dusty, I suppose.
A mother’s day sunday in late autumn.
And while I have been looking forward to getting into a warm shower all afternoon, there is something morbid about this wintry evening now.… Read the rest
Splats.
There is something sobering about a situation where it simultaneously feels like I have made a terrible mistake and ‘it is all in my head’.
So it feels like the world is about to fall apart, it is my fault and yet at the same time I am completely foolish, and unable to share my fears with another living soul.… Read the rest
I need a hug,,, and there is no one here.
I feel sad, and it only serves to accentuate the absence of your presence in any concrete way.
Maybe I need to get off this ride.
It is a strong feeling of hopelessness.… Read the rest
It feels weird in my body where they put the camera inside.
I bought some beer on the way home – to celebrate a completely normal result, but given how strange I am feeling after invasive surgery, I might have a cup of tea instead.… Read the rest
There is something about the descendant – a sign in our astrology that appears on the horizon at the end of the day we were born.
It is supposed to provide information about who you are in relation to others. How others see you, and how we are in 1:1 relationships.… Read the rest
It might have been nice to go back to the coast for Mother’s Day.
The idea provides the tiniest modicum of relief from some kind of disembodied waste, probably orchestrated by bots for all I know.
As it is I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow for something my panic merchant doctor wants to get checked out.… Read the rest
Something quite different about the quality of my energy today.
The day sits on a foundation of optimism that is invigorating… purposeful.
What can I do with this time?
Tucked up in my cosy house, with the rain pouring outside. … Read the rest
I have just finished work for the evening.
What a messy night of duplicate tables, stalling imports and an abundance of errors. . .
I need to imbibe my mind and my soul with classical and ambient music, and wash the uncomfortable senses of this day away with a sensory feast of beauty and calm.… Read the rest
The night is young, and I am pondering therapeutic things that I can do with the time.
Life is such a gift.
My house feels so good. It is such a pleasure to do the minimal work that it takes to keep it looking good.… Read the rest
What to write about when everything I could say feels too intimate for people who show me nothing of theirs?
I will give myself the time it takes to drink a cup of matcha gazing out at the blustery, wintry weather, to try to find one thing I feel comfortable sharing.… Read the rest