Blah LaLa

the only way

i woke up at 3:30 AM this morning. Shocked to awakening by the thought of someone I have let down.

3:30 AM

And now I can’t keep my etes ope,,, night night ((x))… Read the rest

awe

Eek!

The sun might yet come out from behind these hormonal clouds yet!!

That would be ideal.

Gratitude doesn’t come close to expressing this mosaic of feeling.… Read the rest

what else?

It is true.
I should be dating.
And opening my world to intimacy.

I don’t think that dating is like riding a bike.
I think it is important to practice.

And recently I have been thinking about the loyalty thing. .… Read the rest

assumptions, assumptions

I kind of thought that in that kind of situation it would just happen naturally.
That touch would be enough.
I am not so sure that is the case, or else – why isn’t it happening anyway?

I know I am not Robinson Crusoe.… Read the rest

where i’m at

This isn’t a new problem.
Back in 2003, I had a number of nice, flirtatious friendships.
I can think of two in particular that simply crumbled when the opportunity came to make things physical.

My pharmacological stack changed, but I still haven’t been intimate with someone for years.… Read the rest

sgs or the elephant

If I could have done this year differently, I would have taken more risks, perhaps.

Except for the small issue of my elephant.

It is my libido. Where even is it?

I expect that it is a pharmacological problem that requires a pharmacological solution.… Read the rest

not comfortable in my ‘now’

Time passes so easily.
Then one day I wake up and feel very underwhelmed looking back over my life.

They are right of course, all there is is now.
The adventures that could have been.

If we don’t act, feelings and situations might change.… Read the rest