Category: connection (page 2)

a lot of ambiguity

It feels dangerous to admit that I care,

About your behaviour on my blogs.

I am alone in the vulnerability.

And maybe that will never change.

I should contemplate that fact,

Along with the reminder that one day I will be dead,

Every morning,

Before this circus begins.… Read the rest

a little bit weak

Counter-intuitively, it feels that maybe talking about us is just going to repeatedly end in tears.

At least that is what I am wondering right now.

But that begs the question – what direction could this content take?

I am just so washed out tonight.… Read the rest

wasting all my time

I feel like I want to climb into my shell,

And stay there for the evening.

It feels less and less safe to open up.

And perhaps you’re right – it was someone else from Austria saying those interesting things.

Who knows what any of you were saying about anything.… Read the rest

delete myself

I think it wasn’t you visiting from Austria.

Hell, this place makes me feel bad sometimes.

Do I not have better things to do than analyse whether you did or did not respond to what I said?

It feels rather unworkable.… Read the rest

complaints

Sorry, it feels like I have been complaining a lot lately.

I guess I am just trying to work out how to move forward with this in a way that does not make a mess of my head.

The obvious conclusion is that trying to connect with someone who wants to have a conversation in this way is a complete waste of my time and energy.… Read the rest

the pitfalls of ambiguity

I am not sure if those visits from Austria were you,

And it feels humiliating to even suppose that they were.

Before I can comment I need to get past my very uncomfortable reaction to that kind of ambiguity.

It feels like ice cracking in my head today!… Read the rest

an ill-fitting coat

Ouch…

Could it get any worse?

I feel so disconnected from this person, so removed from reality with them. It feels so awkward, like pieces that won’t fit.

And I keep pouring energy into it.

That much becomes noticeable after a break.… Read the rest

talking to anyone

The truth of the matter is that after analysing some data,

I can’t be sure in any way about which visits come from Turtle,

And which do not.

It was grounds for dissolution in 2017,

This idea that I am connected to a bot.… Read the rest