Personal blog
Every time I come back,
Offers you permission to treat me even worse than the time before.
Because underneath the words and the expression it conveys the message that it is okay.
I am just digging this hole deeper and deeper,
When it is quite clear that you aren’t interested in me any more.… Read the rest
For something that never landed,
It sure hurts.
For someone who never loved me,
My heart sure breaks.
Cry these tears and I will get to the other side of this pain.
It is a process,
And I think that on the other side,
my heart will be open.… Read the rest
It didn’t seem real until I could see that you are gone,
And now the tears pour out of my soul.
I miss you.
Walking home in the winter sunshine,
Open my front door,
And my heart breaks into a million pieces.… Read the rest
Climb into a hug today,
I need someone’s arms around me.
Put my head on your bare chest,
And feel the solid realness of our bodies.
The heartbreak sits in my stomach,
Like a knot of anxious pain.
Want to get out and explore,
But the pain asks me to be quiet and gentle today.… Read the rest
Sometimes over the past couple of weeks, I have reflected back,
On something that might have made its way from my thoughts to this page.
And I feel a gentle rumble of shame and regret.
At least I opened up my soul to you,
Because I wanted to love you,
You had nothing to share.… Read the rest
It hurts like almost a year of sharing the depths of my soul,
With a ghost.
All I want to do is to climb into your arms,
And you didn’t want to touch me.
This disembodied connection of thoughts and words on a screen.… Read the rest
I am crying for every moment that I thought you cared,
And every person who told me that you didn’t love me.
I wanted to climb into your arms,
And you didn’t want to touch me.
At the end, I am left with the ghost of you,
Someone I never knew.… Read the rest
Maybe I was being kind by being cruel about it.
Such a strange situation.
Already, I feel the monsters climbing up onto my shoulders,
Trying to stick their fingers in my nose, hehe.
I lose the physical sense of my self,
Start to compare myself to other people.… Read the rest
I think it is finally broken now. And I can’t fix it.
Maybe once my tears have dried, it will feel like it is for the best.
I shouldn’t play flip flop with this.
Maybe you will be kind enough to be cruel about it.… Read the rest
I don’t know if this is the right thing to do or not,
But I feel like I want to let off some steam.
My head is fried.
Want to soak my mind in a bath of warm words.… Read the rest