Blah LaLa (page 19)

More of it

Then the dam bursts,

And I want to talk.

Such a strange feeling,

To go back out into the world.

I feel it in my body,

The difference between playing in a virtual world,

And a real one.… Read the rest

the upshot

At least I am not waiting around,

For the least amount of effort.

My home feels better for it.

My heart feels better for it.

Thank goodness I am beginning to feel anger,

The tiniest hint of it.

So much to be grateful for,

And EFF THIS SHIZ!!… Read the rest

feck

There is a cross purpose here,

Because if I felt something like ‘love’ for you,

Then perhaps I wouldn’t open the curtain to my soul,

And let you see all of my working out.

But this is the effing internet,

And so, I don’t have any sunglasses.… Read the rest

Closed

Writing feels closed to me tonight.

Another way to give up my power.

All the things that I choose NOT to say,

After finding the rumble inside.… Read the rest

the good

It is so nice to come back to my body.

This was such a disembodied experience.

So outside of what can be seen or tasted.

Waiting for me beyond those doors can be touched.… Read the rest

the bad

It is such a strange and totally unexpected consequence,

Now I feel like you don’t want to hear from me,

And in the process I have totally stifled my voice.

A voice that was such a lovely thing to find.… Read the rest

I am not okay

I am not sure if this is what you set out to achieve, but this one sided connection has over time had a big detrimental impact on how I feel about myself and my world.

I feel like your lack of input and investment has reached new lows.… Read the rest