It is the strangest thing,
The calm.
All the octane has exited stage left.
Now, I am standing on a line between ‘maybe you care’ and ‘I don’t want to let you in’.… Read the rest
Blah LaLa (page 7)
Soothing the grind
When my mind feels like a grind,
Perhaps some words will soak in,
And soothe or stretch this malady.
The grind inside is overstimulated perhaps.
What I want is to climb into bed with someone,
And wrap my body in theirs.… Read the rest
where r u?
Are you in China? 😮
What are you doing with yourself there?
Maybe I will write about my evening somewhere else. But this is an optimal template for weekends, I think.
I feel energised.… Read the rest
Energy check
I just don’t want to go into the evening with this kind of energy in my soul.
It is not okay. But I feel like I need to open up my perspective too.
Maybe we are just friends.
I hope you have a nice evening/day.… Read the rest
Inadvisable
Cheers, though.
I feel too happy to stay angry today.
It was not nice.
And I still think you are probably not a very good person,
If you can take your partner on some holiday somewhere,
Totally break my brain,
And just do this with me, while you are doing all that with her.… Read the rest
Unnatural dopamine
It is hard to write today. And that should be warning enough.
My brain has been adjusting to the new scenario.
It has been pretty uncomfortable,
And it makes me think this whole endeavour is not good for me.
Toxic vulnerability?
I find it difficult, if not impossible to ignore you – **at the current time.
I don’t want to ‘open up’ anymore, though. It is embarrassing. And I have no real reason to trust you.
Maybe I just need to re-imagine this conversation (if you can call it that).… Read the rest
A more balanced perspective
Could I take the emphasis OFF Turtle?
There is at least one other person who follows this blog. Why do I get so hooked by this ‘Turtle story’?
Maybe I should go out and recruit some other readers. That might put a cat amongst the pigeons.… Read the rest
Nothing good
It is not just my reaction to the chocolate.
I don’t like the person who feels so much love (it is limerence actually),
For someone who goes and lives their life with someone else.
It is so dumb.
And I feel so trapped in it.… Read the rest
morning – dreams
Good morning,
I had such a lovely dream this morning. I dreamt that a friend (or maybe my neighbour) was hosting a party. It was a funny kind of party though because everyone there got a present. In the dream, I was walking through rooms filled with all these people opening and playing with their gifts, hehe – lots of plants.… Read the rest